Friday, March 5, 2010

Missed Calls

I didn't dial your number
because I needed someone to talk to
Arms to lay in
Or sweet words to fill my ears
I didn't call you because I can't hook up my speakers
or kill the spider above my bed
I was just wondering why
you haven't called
-Jill Scott (Pocket Size #5)

I love Jill Scott's book of poetry: 'The Moments, the Minutes, the Hours'; this poem is one of many that really embodies how I feel sometimes most times when it comes to men. Tonight is no exception. In this world where Twitter, Facebook, email and text messaging is quickly replacing a phone call I find it increasingly hard to have any real communication with men. Being limited to only 140 characters is not my ideal idea of a response, and its definitely not a major building block in forming a relationship. What makes a relationship any different from being a Follower on Twitter if we barricade ourselves within these social networks and refuse to make an attempt at conversing outside of them?

I truly miss middle/high school courting, giving a boy my number, getting that call at 7/8pm and sitting on the phone for hours. Talking and getting to know each other, that's a conversation, where I don't have to wait 5 minutes for a response. There is something about the flow of conversation that tells you a lot about someone. It teaches you about their thought process, it shows you their instinctive reactions and that is how I fall in like. I need to know we can communicate above a text, and email. How else would I know you have more to offer besides witty one liners? [also texting/emailing, etc annoys me b/c it takes hours to have a 10 min conversation].

[Catharsis Break] *sigh* Maybe its just the fact that I truly and honestly miss our (The Night Spender) conversations. Our late night debates, and the early morning texts (which is ok following conversation via a phonecall) of him proclaiming my beauty. I just want to scream "WHAT HAPPENED?!" When did it all stop?! When did you cooking me dinner, and playing that song from the Lion King (hahahaha) all end?! I didn't appreciate it then, but now if you were to do it all again, if only for one day I'd melt in your arms. I miss walking down the street and you taking my hand in yours. I miss it all, and maybe its all gone for a reason, and I need to just suck it up and let it go.

[Back to our regular scheduled program] All of this technology is making relationships non-existent, there is a loss of conversation. A loss of intimacy. Sexting is replacing foreplay (c'mon!), and Facebook relationship status' fluctuate like the stock market (RELATIONSHIP RECESSION?!). We wonder why men and women (black men and women especially) have a lapse in communication, its because we're too busy tweeting and texting while sitting right next to each other! Too busy sending snippets of communication rather than being engrossed in thoughts on the subject anyway.

***so I'm posting it to get it out of my drafts...ENJOY***


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration