Sunday, October 25, 2009

I'm Through with White Girls (movie)

A young African American man (about 30-ish) in LA decides to no longer date white/Caucasian women and to begin dating black/African American women. The movie's opening is of a series of white women independently reading a 'break-up' note the main character seems to leave behind to everyone of his love interests upon sneaking out. Thus ending the relationship. Upon his unsuccessful romps with women of the 'fairer' race he decides to try something 'different.'

Operation Brown Sugar
Operation Brown Sugar begins. At a bar with a friend (white, who pretends to be a hip-hop connoisseur to gain the attention of a girl also white) his attention is directed to an African American woman (who would later turn out to be his love interest) across the room. He responds saying "black girls don't date me, I can't compete with those Alpha male, Talented Tenth, football playing lawyer types." *PAUSE* Is that the explanation? Is this what men say to explain away their reasons for intentionally choosing not to date black women? To make a long story short. He ends up dating this African American woman and in the middle for a seemingly great relationship she writes her one of his infamous notes and leaves. Only to race back after realizing his mistake to find out she's already read the note and ending relationship. He realizes she's the one...blah blah blah, etc. etc. etc.....they get back together in the end.

What is the purpose of this post/movie? I'm sort of confused as to that myself. Being a single 20-something (24) African American woman I feel somehow this movie validates yet at the same time makes a mockery of us.

I prefer to date black men, although I have dated outside my race, and I am open to date men of different races, but I do prefer black men. And while I am OK with inter-racial dating and have no problem with it. I must admit there are times when I do see inter-racial couples (black men with women of other races) and I sort of cringe. I can't explain it, and maybe there is no explanation. I'm not racist by any means, and I welcome love no matter the color. I think its that a part of me wishes he (that good looking, business suit wearing, black man) was with me. Every time that happens my mind wanders to those stories and things I've heard about successful black men choosing not to date black women. And my heart sinks realizing that my chances of meeting a black man to share my life with might possibly be decreasing as my expectations for success in my partner increases.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Be Fruitful and Multiply!

While doing my usual daily blog reads I stumbled upon an interesting topic that quickly grabbed my attention. From the blog A Belle in Brooklyn:

"What is going to become of African- Americans if all of the educated folks continue to be baby free?...
...The people in our community that need to produce the most are not and the people who need to stop producing, multiply like there is no tomorrow. What will happen to future generations?? We complain that there is a lack (in particular) of well mannnered, educated AA men. But if we are not getting married and having babies and in turn, raising well-mannered, educated AA men, who is to blame?"

Like a puppy my ears perked up and was at attention. Rather alarming at first, but it does bring to the forefront a very important question. Why are the educated, successful, upper crust African Americans not reproducing. Now, that's not to say that NO educated African Americans are having babies. But, in comparison the vast majority of successful African American women are single, childless; and if they do have children, its usually one, or two. I am guilty of this myself. I am educated, I classify myself as successful, yet I am still single, marriage no where in sight, and when that does happen (which it I only plan on having one child...if any at all.

Are we to blame for the direction our community seems to be headed? Of course well ALL share in the responsibility. Now, don't get me wrong by no means am i saying go out and start having babies like rabbits. However, I cannot deny that the question did not open my eyes a bit. Ok, maybe now I'll have two children (lol); but seriously, WHY are we not reproducing? Why are we not 'training a child up in the way he should go." But in the same token must we give birth to the next generation in order to play an active role in their lives? So maybe we are not ready to have children of our own. That is understandable, I am definitely not ready to have a child. So, can we not in turn nurture the child of another, a child who may not have a parent at home who was afforded the opportunities we were?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fill-In the Blank

I had a very, interesting conversation with a friend on Sunday about titles when it comes to relationships. Of course he felt they weren't necessary, and of course I thought they were absolutely necessary.

Seriously, when you think about it, whether you acknowledge it or not you are involved in a relationship. The only question is what type of relationship? Only a daily basis we form relationships with everyone we come into contact with. And we define those relationships. So why not define the ones we engage in one a regular basis and on an even more intimate level. For example, we have working relationships with co-workers; friendships; associates; family; everyone in our lives fall into one of these categories and possibly more, all defining the type of relationship we have with them. So why not extend this to our sexual lives. Now, I'm not talking about a fling or one night stand; but those ongoing encounters that seem to extend for months on end with no sense of direct.....


Thursday, October 1, 2009

TOMS Shoes

I haven't done a product post in a while, so this one is long overdue and MUCH deserved!

I've seen the commercials, but never really paid much attention. Last week however, while at CGI (Clinton Global Initative) my co-worker was telling me about how super comfortable these shoes were, etc. etc. And how they got free pairs of them last year at CGI. So, what are TOMS Shoes you ask? They have a "one for one" motto. Simply:

I just LOVE that! I will be ordering my pair of TOMS Shoes tonight. I'll have pictures and update when I have them in hand. PLEASE check out the website and see all the GREAT things they are doing, and if you can please order a pair or two or three yourself. :D

Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration