Wednesday, September 30, 2009

New Day

"Say goodbye, say goodbye to the way I was before. Say hello, say hello to a new way."
*song currently playing on my profile, and will be playing for a*

This is it, I've been on a roller coaster called relationships, love/like, dating for some time now, and it seems like I just unbuckled myself and walked off. Am I sad? YES! Of course, I would have loved to stay on that ride with him (minus the ups and downs, bumps and humps) but with him, I would've loved to ride that ride. But, things don't always work that way, and apparently some people have to "get their priorities together...things are about to be really hectic, etc." and can't even give a possible projection of anything. So, 8+ months down the drain?

I cried all the way home. Definitely was the little piggy who went "waa waa waa, allll the way home" last night. Took a shower and cried in the shower. I feel like I've been here too many times before. Deja vu. He's a sucky person, a sucky person to me right now. I can't pahtom how after 8+ months you still have to think about things, you're not sure of what, if anything you want from things. Its been more than ample time to digest and reflect. Everyone has busy schedules, I men I'm the Queen of busy schedules, the Queen of doing 10 million things at once. So are my priorities out of wack?! I focus on work now, I'm going to focus even MORE on work now. So the 200+ hours a month might increase. I'll focus on me now, I plan on going to Virginia Beach next weekend (if my boss lets me take Columbus Day off), I just need to get out of NJ, and get the hell away from NY too.

I don't want to date anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to be happy doing something else. Whatever else, just not the like/love/dating/relationship thing. I want to travel, I want to go somewhere FAR away, by myself, and just be. Not necessarily trying to run away from anyone or anything, I just think I need that freedom, and to be away from him, our mutual friends....I definitely need to stay far away from Facebook for a while. So you know what that means, lucky you I get to blog more often. :]

Saturday, September 26, 2009


"There is always something to do. There are hungry people to clothe, sick people to make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world, I do think its not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those with whom you call friend. Engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect." -Nikki Giovanni

My new mantra...

Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration