Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Buying the Cow

***DISCLAIMER: this is no where near finished or completed to my liking, it a stream of consciousness and rambling...but its been sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks now, and seeing as there are about 5 other posts in draft mode, and no recent posts to the blog i needed to post SOMETHING so this is I'll edit it one day, or you can leave a bunch of comments (preferred method) and we can engage in conversation***

Mr.-like new chick...she made me wait to get the booty...simple...but very important strategy...we'll only do what yall let us do to you
Moxie-i made The Night Spender wait to get the booty...3-4months..i think that's important..but at the same time...i think a man can do you wrong if he gets it the first night or 4 months later...
Mr. -and i'm here to tell you if we wait...we want YOU not sex
Moxie-i mean i get what you're saying...but just b/c a man waits does not mean he won't do the same ish...just means he likes and respects you enough, has the tolerance enough, or someone else to fulfill his carnal desires enough to wait
Mr.-it really doesn't but don't believe me...i'm just the only person wit a dick in the convo...not to mention i'm older
Moxie-lol, well your age definitely adds more experience and wisdom..but i mean your logic behind waiting, is that the same as a 25 yr old's logic?

Dating 101, make him wait! How long as women have we heard this? "If you want to know if a man REALLY likes you for you and not just sex, make him wait for sex." The three month rule (90 Day Rule) which has been ingrained in us is the dating mantra, a golden rule, for women. Whenever something goes wrong in a relationship its usually the first thing that pops into our heads. "Did we have sex too soon?", or its often the first question we are asked when we turn to our friends for advice "When did you guys start having sex?" For years we've assumed the demise of our past relationships, with what may have been great men, was due to giving up the goods too soon. Giving away the milk for free...maybe?

@justpinks: Why do women try to put a time clock on their vaginas? Just b/c he waits for it, doesn't mean he won't still treat u like a smut!

One day on twitter this tweet really struck me. For so long I've believed this Three Month Rule to be the golden standard, one of the simple things that makes a world of difference in relationships. Now, I'm not throwing out the baby with the bathwater here. I am not saying we should have sex with men upon meeting them, all I am saying is we cannot assume that having a man wait for sex is somehow going to guarantee a relationship or if it does lead to a relationship it does not automatically guarantee a good healthy one. There are so many other components that make up a relationship, sex, while it is a big and important part of any and every relationship it is not the lone determining factor. What I have noticed is many men who come to me spouting the virtues of the women who made them wait often have a few things in common. During this waiting period they:
  1. Respected the woman more [pro]
  2. Was actively having sex with another woman [con]
Its easy to give a woman the time and space she needs/demands sexually when you have someone else to fulfill those sexual urges. So my question then is, is this new attraction really genuine? I don't question that you respect her more because she has a set of morals that says 'don't have sex with every man that buys her a drink', but at the same time while you are falling for her and all she stands for who is she falling for? With girl #2 on the side at your beck and call its easy to go on date after date with a new prospect and not press the sex issue. All the while you would have us believe you are abstaining in an effort to explore aspects of our personality aside from the sexual. In all honesty, how many women would after three months of getting to know someone/dating, if they knew he was, during that time, having sex with someone else, would you in turn still sleep with him? I'm pretty sure the answer is a resounding no. 

So while I do uphold the benefits of the 3 Month Rule, at the same time I encourage you not be naive. Ultimately every relationship changes once sex is added into the equation, be it for the better or worse. The dynamics will change, its just the nature of the beast. Sometimes it brings you closer as a couple, other times is pushes you further away, just be sure you guys discuss what it is you both want out of the relationship, if its even a relationship.

[milk has an expiration date, like c'mon there is only SO long you can keep it before it if no one is buying the cow...hmmmm why not shell out some samples..lmbo, I'M KIDDING!!].


rey said...

my thoughts...

1) You may be girl #2 in the first place, so making him wait is no biggie to him

2) Personally I'm too mature to consider "sex wait time" as a criterion for determining the virtue of a woman. I realize we ALL have needs and why should I judge her b/c we want the same thing?

3) I agree that it makes no difference if it's the first date or 3 months after

4) I have never heard of this "golden rule" and i assume no women i've been with has

i could go on and on but i'll stop here... good post

Bef said...


I never lived by the 3 month rule...I live by the whatever I want to do rule.

you are right to wonder...if I'm making dude someone else fulfilling the need for him in the meantime?

And with that same thought process do you really want to be with someone who is dating you (making you think you are building a relationship) but all the while...he's gettin' it in with some chick on the side...

I don't think there should be the "I'm not sleeping with you for 3 months rule". I think it should be more "I'm not sleeping with you until I'm comfortable doing so". that could be first date, 10th date or never....

dating sucks! lol

moxie_b said...

LOL yes @Bef dating does indeed suck...

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