Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Good Men

"They were all good men, they just weren't good to me." ~moxie_b

I've been bombarded with the "there are no good men left" theory lately, its been on repeat for the past few weeks and a girl can't help but think about it. For a while I subscribed to this mantra. I was an angry woman who thought there was indeed 'NO GOOD MEN LEFT' (angry face), and every time I thought about it my future looked lonely and bleak. I have encountered 'bad' men [what exactly makes a man bad in comparison to 'good' anyway?] but when I think about it I've never been in a relationship with a 'bad' man. In fact all of my past relationships have been with what you'd describe as good men. Intelligent, goal-oriented, employed, good looking, great sense of humor etc. etc. the list goes on. Why else would I have been attracted to them, why else would I have been involved with them if they weren't indeed good men?! But, somewhere, somehow things went south, the relationship ended. They, however, did not cease to be good men.

I am the type to remain friends with an ex, and as I look at some of my past conquests (hahaha, ok that's a joke guys) I can see myself falling for them again (if only I was a repeat offender) as a matter of fact, I can see why any lucky girl could fall for them. They are great family men, young professionals, can hold a conversation in a room full of business execs, simply put...they are GOOD men. However, they just weren't good to me, it wasn't meant to be maybe, and in a case or two it ended badly. But can you really blame the end of a relationship on someone not being a good man? When I look back I can sigh in relief and say I'm happy things ended, sometimes it takes a bad ending for you to see the good in someone, and why that good was just not meant for you, but it reminds you that if I could get a great guy like that, even for a little while, I can probably get a better guy for even longer (hehehe).

All in all, they broke my heart, did or said things I hope today they regret (lol). I've shed my share of tears over failed loves like any other 20-something...but to say there are no more good men left would be doing myself a dis-service. It would mean resigning myself to the possibility of either settling in order to settle down or spending the rest of my life alone. I refuse to do either. I refuse to settle for some sub par mediocre relationship because I'm afraid to die alone, and I refuse to live life depressed because I'm single. So, Instead of focusing on the supposed lack of good men, I choose to focus on becoming a good woman. Good men and good women I hope so, or else I might have to rethink this

talk amongst yourselves ;]


Anonymous said...

Well said! I think it's important to remember that there are good men somewhere, even if you're not finding any right now. And I think that people find each when they're ready, so the best thing to do while single is to work on becoming a better version of yourself and not get so hung up on being single. Even though it sucks.

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