Monday, January 25, 2010

Apartment Woes Pt. 2

Ever since I moved out on my own all the men in my life, past and present, are anxious to come over, spend the night, hang out. *pause* All of a sudden, I am "missed" and we "just haven't spent enough time together lately." *pause* Where is this coming from? I am surely not uber excited to hang out with you, and reminisce about 'old times.' [Sometimes I wish I never sent that ill fated text notifying everyone of my new phone number].

So, as a result I have become a very skilled liar, and avoider. I can conjure up ridiculous tales of why someone can't "just stop by", or "come over and chill". I have become so skilled at the art of avoidance that I find myself accidentally avoiding friends I actually WANT to see. Granted, I haven't been able to freely enjoy this independence of living on my own [for reasons too stressful & lengthy to disclose]. That in conjunction with the constant escape tactics I've been forced to develop, this is making my life tricky. The one benefit is my hectic work schedule. It has calmed down dramatically since September, but from July through September i was working on average 200+ hours a month, seven days a week. Then, it was relatively easy to avoid the menfolk. Now that I am down to the good ole 40 hours a week, with weekends available I have no basis not to see, or be seen. However, I still want to go into hiding.

I have become very skeptical of men who want to come over, "spend some time". This is my castle, my domain, my refuge! I don't want to defile it with some unworthy male specimen who is only after one thing. A romp in the sack [do they still us that phrase?]. Only one man has spent the night, and another came for a brief BORING The night spender.. *sigh* he's another blog for another time, so much has gone on between us...smh. The boring visit, I think I mentioned it in my 2010 post [go read it!]. I say all that to say this, I am not a fan of men in my personal space. Especially when they invite themselves. I feel that when I extend an invitation for you to come over it really means something. I have no problem trekking to your location, braving obstacles and the elements to snuggle up in your bed, in YOUR apartment, and at the end of it all I go home and unwind. Home is where the heart is, and after dealing with the constant battle with my heart at 'his' place I go home to de-stress and put the pieces back together. I want no memories of us snuggled up on the couch watching movies, no memories of me cooking [ok...ordering] dinner in the kitchen. NO! I don't want any of those things in MY apartment!

I want to save my apartment for a RELATIONSHIP, is that weird? That man who I can say without a doubt is my boyfriend/significant other/etc. I don't want to parade men through my apartment who I'm just dating/talking to/etc., no real reason for you to ever see beyond the 1689 on the front of the building. Men have a tendency to get comfortable in your space once you let them in, and in the event to not let anyone get too comfortable I don't invite them into this space. Especially those whom I have had past 'relations' with, no good comes from you stepping through those doors. I have no plans to relapse.


neenarae said...

lol. I feel you on this one. Trust me:)
loved the 2010 blog btw and Yay 4 Columbia (we'll claim it as if you already got your acceptance letter:))
ps. loving your new look too moxie :)

Anonymous said...

I HATE when boys just show up in your life again, especially if you haven't talked to them in awhile, and it seems like they never get the hint when you don't answer their phone calls or allow them to come over.

Anyways, I understand wanting to keep your home as a sacred place of refuge.

N. Steven said...

i feel you on the apartment tip. since leaving the on-campus life, i LOVE being in my own MFing apartment. and i'm not a huge fan of random chillens running through the crib, but my roommates live different lifestyles.

i guess, get in how you fit in. congrats!

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