Monday, May 17, 2010

We're Both Adults...

***This is another post that's been sitting i my drafts for over two months...and seeing as I promised to post more I'm whipping this out for you guys. :D PLEEEEEEASE understand it has not been edited, suitably reviewed all that jazz.***

"We're both adults..."

How many of you single women have heard that phrase? [raises hand] I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Why is it the moment we enter 'adulthood' all of a sudden its taboo to be in a relationship? It seems like suddenly being an adult/grown-up is linked to having casual sex. How does that make sense?! In my twisted mind I assumed being adult meant having stable, long term relationships. I guess I was wrong. Well, if you ask any single man in the NY/NJ area about dating and relationships he'll give you his very basic approach "whatever happens...happens." No expectations, no goals, no plans. They just go with the flow. Maybe I am being too rigid and unrealistic.

Being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions, being able to make a commitment, be it to someone via a relationship, or to your career. What if we approached our careers that way. We enter a job field and simply say "we're all adults here so we'll just do the fun stuff and whatever happens...happens". I'm sure that company would fly right to the top of the Fortune 500 list [side eye]. I don't think so.

SERIOUSLY, I am not saying that everyone you have sex with should instantly become your significant other, by no means, c'mon I'm a realistic girl! But, too often men, and sometimes women...we go around uttering these ridiculous phrases and then wonder 3-4 years from now why we aren't in a relationship (black women we go along with this and now we are in "crisis"). Or, why we meet these low lives, well that's what you kept saying you 'adult' who just took things as they came, made no plans, had no expectations! I can't live my life that way. Maybe, its just that I need to control everything, or need to know where things are going. That goes for every aspect of my life, career wise I need to have expectations for what I plan to achieve out of my position, and where I plan to be in the company years from now. I cannot have a lackadaisical approach to my career or my personal relationships.

If this is what one should expect from adult men, then I long to be in high school/college again where relationships ruled...LOL.


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration