Monday, May 10, 2010

Live @ 25

Birthday week....OVER!!!

All I can say is that I survived :D. The week started of rocky, VERY rocky, and ended equally as rocky. But somewhere in between the rock and a hard place there was a glimmer of fun and excitement. However, the celebrating is not over, there is my trip to New Orleans at the end of the month, which is what I am considering my TRUE birthday celebration. I am seriously contemplating going into detail the events of this past week, or holding off until a better time to bore you with my anticlimactic celebration, hmmm maybe I'll wait until after New Orleans, because I'm almost certain some wild and unmentionable things will happen

So, its been some time since I've talked to you all, do you miss me? I'm sure you do. Well, I cut my hair *gasp*, I am still trying to adjust to it, and style it, everyday its a new challenge, but I shall emerge victorious. I have yet to take some cute pics with the new cut, but when I do I'll post a pic.

On to the meat and potatoes of the post. WHY HAVE I BEEN MISSING IN ACTION?! Simply put, I've been on such a major roller coaster ride that there just has been no stability enough for me to stop for even a minute and write something. If that was not bad enough, the little paragraphs and sentences I did manage to jot down all seem like a bunch of baloney. However, its official, I am 25. I don't feel any older and definitely don't feel much wiser. As a matter of fact I feel like everything I thought and all my philosophical theories on life just doesn't make much sense anymore. Maybe that is not an accurate description, SEE I'm already second guessing myself. And maybe...just maybe this is my insecurity pouring out, but sometimes I feel for someone my age I should know more, have experienced more, just BE MORE all together! While some of you may just have scrunched your noses and wondered what the hell I meant, I can't thoroughly explain the feeling.

A part of me feels when compared to other 25 year old individuals, I'm somehow lacking some great life experience. However, I think this is just that BIG doubting yourself phase most twenty-somethings go through, and I seemed to dive head first into it. As of late I doubt EVERYTHING about myself, and the biggest of this seems to be my career. I seem to doubt whether I can do many of the things I seem to be currently doing. But somehow, someway I don't feel like I'm quite capable. It does not matter that I am currently taking the bull by its horns and doing a pretty good job. No! All I can seem to think is 'am I cut out for this?' and 'I hope i don't screw it up too much!' Sad. Hopefully this passes, because I am already a super stressed out person on the regular, the added the stress from all this self doubt cannot be good for me.

I need to take a step back and just...BREATHE.


Header Image by Colorpiano Illustration