The One Night Stand...

Sometimes I just want to do it! You know, have sex; but then I consider my options. I'm not in a relationship at the moment, not currently 'involved' with anyone, and the men in my past are a 'no fly zone' you know, those situations where I made that mistake once, so I refuse for there to be a second time. With all of that said, it does not negate the fact that sometimes I just want to do IT, 'the nasty', 'do the do', get some luvin'. While its a completely natural craving, I can't bring myself to have a random one night stand. Just take a guy home from the club and give him the business.

I feel before one even gets the pleasure to see my often miss-matched undies, view me as I wiggle out of my skirt and completely mess my hair up as my shirt is aggressively pulled over my head.....there needs to be some banter. A clever back and forth exchanging of ideas at which point I become extremely attracted to this other individual and I can no longer look at his broad shoulders and not imagine my head resting neatly between his shoulder bade and neck as I snuggle up to catch a faint smell of him. I need that! I love the witty remarks, and off the cuff comments. However, I understand that it takes a while for things to get to that point. There is the initial meeting, exchanging of numbers, breaking the ice phone conversations and the few preliminary dates/excursions, etc. I usually cannot seriously consider sex before this happens. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it crosses my mind, but something somewhere inside reminds me of the fact that oft times its too soon.

Ok, and while everything I've previously stated is indeed true. Another great big obstacle to throwing caution to the wind and just giving in to temptation is...the fact that I have these things called feelings and emotions and they are somewhat magnetized and can tend to get attached to whomever I have sex with. There is something to be said about that saying (is it a saying or just a thought?) that you carry a piece of whomever you have sex with in you (no pun intended) or something to that effect. And with all that said some people, after getting to know them, I just don't want ANY piece of them in me, be it for one night only. Now, I'm not saying I necessarily need a relationship (ok bare with me) but I need some sort of foundation, be it at least a friendship. I need to know you, know something about you, feel like we connect in some type of way. This (meaning me, my body) is kind of important to me, I need these things before I let loose and let go. You need to make me trust you with me, because in that moment I am vulnerable.

I can't be the girl who after sex jumps out of bed gets dressed and leaves. A part of that has to do with the fact I love to cuddle and I usually become a human pretzel and find myself intertwined in him as I fall asleep. You can't do that with just anyone. 


That's why I've been sleeping...alone.

P.S. For the next week or so I am going to desperately try to post every day...wish me luck..lol