Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Random Outburst...Drive By Style ;]

I'm 24, going on 25, I am not married, have no children, have a great career I love, and an apartment. I say all that to say this...WHERE IS MY RECOGNITION?! No one takes time out to congratulate me for not having babies out of wedlock [no offense to those who do..love ya..smooches], no one buys me a toaster for not marrying the wrong guy [it happens, have you seen the divorce rate...HELLO]. Nope, instead I, and women like me, are bombarded by our friends and associates with wedding invitations, ugly bridesmaid dresses, and baby shower invites. While I do love celebrating these great moments in my friends' lives, it causes me to stop and think. What if I never have children, and never meet Mr. Right and get married, the only thing I am allowed to celebrate is my birth?! I refuse to let that happen!

So...I graduated, got a job in this recession, work ridiculous hours that makes no sense, go home to an empty bed [damn I'm not making a good case for myself here...] and with all of that said I still can't get a "hey you're doing good kid". This ends here, I from this day forth institute a form of recognition, unlike Mothers' Day, Wedding, and Babies and all that crap, this day of recognition will be for women who have it all minus the husband, children, and all that jazz and fluff everyone rants and raves about. An 'I'm NOT having a baby...Shower!' Does that work? Does it make sense?

In all honesty, I just want to have a lavish party where I can have a registry and make my friends spend money on things I'd probably never need...lol.


Shanda said...

I hear you. I, too, would welcome a "Congrats for not contributing to negative stereotypes/statistics and raising the bar for Black women everywhere!" celebration...complete with party favors and gifts selected from my registry. Try to remember that just by being who you are, by bucking the perceived status quo (because some of us do know better than to believe the hype) that you are making a difference. It can be hard, but we can't stop and won't stop. We know what we're worth.

Je'Niece said...

I understand what you are saying, but let me give you some encouragement right now. Kudos to you for being a beautiful phenomenal woman! And don't wait for anyone else to give you encouragement. Our society romanticizes the prospects of marriage and babies. While those are significant milestones, our society functions in a way that happily celebrates the beginning of these events and then leaves the people hanging afterwards. Seriously, where are all the people from the wedding when the couple hits that rough patch? Why don't any of those people tell the couple the truth about marriage instead of saying the same cliche things like "Be good to one another and your marriage will be good to you." Where are all those people when the new Mommy is suffering from severe sleep deprivation and post-partum depression? Why don't any of them tell her that becoming a mother is by far the HARDEST THING SHE WILL EVER DO! So don't get caught up in folks not celebrating you. The celebrations never last long enough to carry you through.

moxie_b said...

Thanks for taking time to comment ladies..I truly appreciate it.

@Shanda LOL @ "can't stop, won't stop" bad girls for life!!! [a la Diddy]

@Je'Niece Thank You for the encouragement. You made some really good points as well, no one says how tough marriage really is, everyone glorifies the wedding but no one focuses on the actual marriage!

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