Moving on...IN?!

Lately, well for the past year, I've been contemplating what it would be like to live with a man. Now, before I proceed, let me state for the record that in no way am I ready to share my living spaces with someone of the opposite sex, its just a thought. However, I must admit there have been times cohabitation has scurried across my mind. I have all these fantasies of coming home to a hot meal (gender role reversal much..lol) and a warm bath; someone to share my day with and then snuggle up next to. In the morning, I roll over..kiss him, and off I am to prepare for my day ahead. That sounds like something from off a TV show. Does that happen anymore?! I know for me, if I was to decided to move in with someone or move someone in with me, my days would not play out exactly like that. It'll probably go more like this:

I arrive home from work at 10:30pm. Exhausted, and feet aching from my heels; which I only wore today because I had an event. Upon turning my key in the door I take off my shoes and breathe a sigh of relief. I look around the messy apartment and see him, at the dining room table on his laptop working. He's eating takeout, and doesn't look too happy.

"Hi baby" I squeal, and limp over to give him a kiss.
"Hey" he blandly retorts. "What happened around here? I thought you were going to do the laundry and make dinner?"

Knowing that I promised to do all of these things and more I quickly scramble for an excuse. As factual as my excuse may be I know it still won't cut it. "I know, but I've been so busy with work, and
I just haven't gotten around to it. You know I'm not very domestic hunnie. So....ooooh look those muscles, someone has been working out" *wink*

He obviously doesn't fall for it. Returns a stern look and wiggles out of my grasp.

Do you guys see where this is going? Shall I continue? I mean, after just the first 5 minutes of me walking through the door can you really and truly think I'm the live-in girlfriend type? LOL, I'll be the first to admit that I am not. Not unless you are an extremely understanding man, who does not mind laundry being done about once a month, or every one and a half months. If you are able to understand I work crazy hours, and after working those crazy hours I bring some of that work home with me. If anyone out there of the opposite sex can accept that I cannot cook, AT ALL, but am a master of takeout and will welcome me with open arms...then bless your heart!

While I have the TV's picture perfect, sometimes comedic view of cohabitation I am awfully realistic. I know I'm not able to take care of a man, I've just started taking care of myself to be quite honest. However, I do at times wish there was someone waiting on the other side of the door when I came home.  Maybe a puppy would suffice, but thats another major responsibility I have no time for.

Back to the subject at hand. I find men to be too demanding when it comes to women. They want the professional woman who works the 9-5, with the sexy business suit and 5" heels who can come home make a fabulous dinner and take care of the kids. While there are some superwomen like that who exist, I am not one of those. I can wear the fabulous suit with the heels, have intelligent conversations with the best of them and be great at office parties, but all the domestic stuff...nope that's not me. So where does one find a man who understands and appreciates that in this world of home cooked meals and Destiny Child's Cate to You being the theme? There are women who want no parts of it (just yet) and is fully comitted to everything else except cooking and cleaning. That can't be all bad...right? :-\

I mean...I do plan on doing all that stuff one day, just not today, or tomorrow, or even the day after that. Maybe, 5 years from now I'll be the superwoman. What about a superwoman in training...no one gives us credit! I think all superwomen in training need to be shown some appreciation and understanding.

Apartment Woes Pt. 2

Ever since I moved out on my own all the men in my life, past and present, are anxious to come over, spend the night, hang out. *pause* All of a sudden, I am "missed" and we "just haven't spent enough time together lately." *pause* Where is this coming from? I am surely not uber excited to hang out with you, and reminisce about 'old times.' [Sometimes I wish I never sent that ill fated text notifying everyone of my new phone number].


So, as a result I have become a very skilled liar, and avoider. I can conjure up ridiculous tales of why someone can't "just stop by", or "come over and chill". I have become so skilled at the art of avoidance that I find myself accidentally avoiding friends I actually WANT to see. Granted, I haven't been able to freely enjoy this independence of living on my own [for reasons too stressful & lengthy to disclose]. That in conjunction with the constant escape tactics I've been forced to develop, this is making my life tricky. The one benefit is my hectic work schedule. It has calmed down dramatically since September, but from July through September i was working on average 200+ hours a month, seven days a week. Then, it was relatively easy to avoid the menfolk. Now that I am down to the good ole 40 hours a week, with weekends available I have no basis not to see, or be seen. However, I still want to go into hiding.

I have become very skeptical of men who want to come over, "spend some time". This is my castle, my domain, my refuge! I don't want to defile it with some unworthy male specimen who is only after one thing. A romp in the sack [do they still us that phrase?]. Only one man has spent the night, and another came for a brief BORING visit...lol. The night spender.. *sigh* he's another blog for another time, so much has gone on between us...smh. The boring visit, I think I mentioned it in my 2010 post [go read it!]. I say all that to say this, I am not a fan of men in my personal space. Especially when they invite themselves. I feel that when I extend an invitation for you to come over it really means something. I have no problem trekking to your location, braving obstacles and the elements to snuggle up in your bed, in YOUR apartment, and at the end of it all I go home and unwind. Home is where the heart is, and after dealing with the constant battle with my heart at 'his' place I go home to de-stress and put the pieces back together. I want no memories of us snuggled up on the couch watching movies, no memories of me cooking [ok...ordering] dinner in the kitchen. NO! I don't want any of those things in MY apartment!

I want to save my apartment for a RELATIONSHIP, is that weird? That man who I can say without a doubt is my boyfriend/significant other/etc. I don't want to parade men through my apartment who I'm just dating/talking to/etc., no real reason for you to ever see beyond the 1689 on the front of the building. Men have a tendency to get comfortable in your space once you let them in, and in the event to not let anyone get too comfortable I don't invite them into this space. Especially those whom I have had past 'relations' with, no good comes from you stepping through those doors. I have no plans to relapse.

Apartment Woes Pt. 1

Well I recently moved out on my own. No more mommy doing my laundry, and cleaning up after me. I don't like that part of it at all. However, I do get to face new challenges, like taking out the trash, and washing dishes. Remembering to lock the door, and to check the mail. Keeping track of the bills and...well, you know all that grown-up stuff you never want to get used to doing.

With the good comes the bad, and the crazy neighbors. I do like my community, for the most part its GREAT. But this week things seemed to have gone haywire. From the loud bangings on the apartments next door, to angry cats fighting under my window. And tonight the teenaged boys hanging out back of the building spewing obscenities and making crude jokes, all which I heard because it seemed like they were screaming through my window. >:O Oh I wanted to call the police...but refrained. Only to have them pull their cars under my window blaring Michael Jackson's 'Scream"....so....I...SCREAMED.. :D, now I can sleep.