Nice Girls Finish Last

I'm not quite used to being told I'm too nice. In my personal life that has never been a common or accurate description of me. Don't get me wrong, I am a nice person [I think, some might disagree], but TOO nice, no that's not me. Or so I thought.

Apparently when it comes to my career I am too nice. I get told that on a daily basis by my boss. And its not good! I don't want to come across as a pushover or weak, but at the same time I don't want to be rude or nasty. I want to be strong, assertive, out spoken, but still nice, just not TOO nice! How can I do that?! How can I take the bull by the horns, yet be gentle enough that it doesn't charge?!

I feel like this is becoming a barrier, and something is telling me it's the reason (while I have taken on more responsibility) I haven't quite moved into the area I want to. It's easier for me to be, at times, bitchy in my personal life. I'm the boss of me! And no one pays me to regulate my life. It's a lot harder to be not so nice when someone else is signing your check and distributing tasks and responsibilities. When someone else's company and reputation is on the line.

Its hard enough for a woman in politics, let a lone a black woman in politics, not only that but a shy, NICE black woman, nah, that's not good. No woman in my field that I admire would ever be described as TOO nice, soft spoken, or  timid. Heck no! Assertive, outspoken, galvanizing, that's what they are and were, and that's what I need to be. I need to learn how to incorporate my fiesty persona from my personal life to my career. I need to SOON, my five year plan is depending on it!

Too timid, and too soft spoken [apparently]! So many people believe in me, see things in me I wish I could see in myself. They don't doubt my abilities, yet I doubt myself at every given opportunity. I'm trying to overcome that, and it's a lot harder than I thought. See!! I'm even doubting not doubting myself...UGH!!!! I've attempted to make a list of my pros and cons (career wise), write down all the good people see and say, and line them up with all my doubts and insecurities, and compare it with all I've accomplished thus far (which admittedly is a lot). Needless to say I've never quite gotten around to it. I probably should...soon.

No more Ms. Nice Girl...[I'm going to start mean muggin' in corporate America, gorilla style baybee]

Graduate School

I am in the process of applying to Graduate School. Well one school actually, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY. Is it pretentious of me to apply to only ONE school? Well there is no other option for me, its Columbia or bust!!! So lets keep our fingers crossed shall we. Masters of Science in Fundraising Management.

I am working, or attempting to start my Statement of Purpose. This is going to be SO hard. I'm pretty good at writing these things, but it takes so much out of me. I literally have to focus all my attention on it, and put in ridiculous amounts of time. In the end, I usually emerge with a GREAT product. Its always that first paragraph thats the hardest.

Due to the IMPORTANCE of this I might be a tad m.i.a. from the blog for a bit, unless something extremely juicy happens..LOL.

Meet Me In 5 Years

I've always had an idea of where I wanted to be in five years, and although I'm not where I thought I'd be five years ago, I definitely don't have the same plans I did 5 years ago. Sometimes you just need to write things down in order to motivate and keep your eyes on the prize. "Write the vision, and make it plain." So I'm putting pen to paper/fingers to keyboard, and laying it ALL out there. My hopes are to achieve everything I am setting out to achieve, and much much more. So here we go:

5 Years From Now:

*Have my own Political Consulting Firm

*Be on at least one "Rising 30 under 30" List

*Be married (sheesh that one is negotiable..lol)

*Have a house or FABULOUS and ridiculously expensive apartment in NYC

*Be financially table

*Consult for a MAJOR political candidate